Harrison Turner is not Two Towns in Maine

Harrison Scott enters his third soccer season this week with the joining of the Oxford Hills Soccer Club's 11-and-under travel squad. He's been asked to play the stopper or "sweeper" position, what 30-somethings like his father call "Center Fullback."

He's pictured here playing left halfback in last year's action.

The diminutive 6th-grader is easily underestimated by his taller opponents, who, after games this winter in the indoor league, were frequently heard telling their respective coaches "Don't put me on the left side, I can't get past the little blonde dude."

His parents, meanwhile, have used his name to their advantage. Calling from the sidelines "Go Harrison!" has lulled many coaches into the false impression that they have been pitted against a team from Harrison, Maine - a perrennial breeding ground for top-caliber soccer players.

However, once the coaches have adjusted to that knowledge, Harrison's parents cruelly shout "Way to go Turner!", thereby confusing coaches even further. Many have been seen weeping after games.

Harrison's team plays its first game, this Sunday, August 28, in Cumberland.