Monday, August 17, 2009

Two Weeks and Counting

Corrine bought me a backpack for college this weekend. In two weeks I start. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Four classes in History, Algebra, Philosophy and English.

I went online to see what textbooks are required and the total came to nearly $300. Do you know how many cheesy $5 movies I could buy at Wal-Mart with $300?

This whole college thing better be worth it.

On the other hand, I subscribe to Writer's Digest and in FOUR articles I read where first-time published authors went for degrees in creative writing. And they swear it made the difference between being an aspiring author, and an actual, published one.

The thing is, I consider myself a published author already. Self-published, to be sure, but published nevertheless.

It was still heartening to read that these authors went for the same degree (well, technically it was an MFA, not a BA) as the one I am striving for.

If they allow me into the program, I should say. I have to ace my remedial algebra and do well in my other classes before I can petition the creative writing department. Then they take my writing samples and decide if I'm worthy.

Wouldn't it be the cat's balls if I was rejected? A 12-year journalist, published novelist, and one helluva cute 41-year-old man, and I get a thumbs down.

I shiver just thinking about it. What would I do then? Major in physics? I suppose I could go for English or History. But, you know, I'm doing this college degree thing so that I can mingle with writers. So that I can improve my writing by being under the tutelage of published professors. So that I can engage in a worthy dialogue about writing with someone other than myself and my dog, Sammy.

I did make a decision last week that I will go for a double major. I'm split, though, between philosophy and theater, with a writing emphasis.

I like philosophy because of its focus on the human condition. I think it would go well with writing. I mean, it's all about people, right, and what makes them tick?

Theater is a hobby of mine, though. And Farmington allows for self-designed majors. Theater with a writing emphasis makes sense because playwriting is an interest I have. But it may be too close to creative writing.

A third option would be history, which I love. Hmmm. I'll have to weigh a lot before I decide.

Anyway. That's a cart-before-the-horse debate for now. I'll wait to see how well I do my freshman year before I expand into another degree.

I have a backpack, a Dayminder calendar for class schedule and assignments, a box of my favorite uni-ball pens, with the micro tips. I will purchase my books probably at the end of this week, and the first week of September buy a used car for $1,000 that's great on gas but probably no larger than a locker.

I'm not sure if I'll get new clothes. No need right now, where it's still summer. When I went to college the first time, my mother harped on me the entire summer about what to get me for clothes.

"What are the kids wearing now?" she would constantly ask me and I had no clue. For my entire life my mother bought my new school clothes for me, which was basically whatever was on the racks at K-Mart. Corduroys, Oxford shirts, and Wranglers. Hush Puppies for shoes.

I didn't care. I had...and still fashion sense whatsoever. I was more psyched about getting the new Bionic Man pencil case.

I go into stores now for my OWN kids, and Corrine has to guard against me picking something that will get my son's ass kicked.

"Honey, it's velour. Don't be that guy."

I imagine college to be filled with kids wearing jeans and t-shirts, the boys letting their hair grow long and not shaving; drinking coffee for the first time in their lives and having no clue what the real world is like but pretending they do.

I don't want to be 18 again, but I sure as hell don't want to stick out either. I'm fairly young looking for my age. If I wear jeans and t-shirts, Birkenstocks with wool socks, and lose the glasses, then I will be fine.

Have you seen the movie Never Been Kissed, with Drew Barrymore? She's a reporter that goes under cover at her local high school to write an expose. Her first day she dresses the way she did in the 1980s. Flaming pink boa and all.

That can't be me.

I have it on my checklist as "Look at your high school senior picture, and make sure you're NOT HIM"


  1. For the record...I WILL NOT HAVE YOU LOOK LIKE A DORK!
    School or not! Your my husband, I mean...DAMN! Gotta be the hottie I know you to be.

  2. I'm refraining from making any dork-apparel jokes. But you know I could.

    I hope you're checking for your textbooks - we save 75% on average getting Brandon's books there (and make a fair amount of it back selling them again afterward.)

  3. Yes, check out for your textbooks! You'll be so glad you went back to school - coming from a re-entry adult here myself...don't worry about fitting in, you will be very surprised how many others our age are doing the same thing. Have fun!

  4. I dunno - a pink feather boa could make a statement to your professors..... Anyhow, Good luck with the school thing! My sister-in-law's Mom went for a MFA in creative writing at age 65 in Pennsylvania after being a stay at home Mom for 40 years...I'll have to ask her what she wore her first day...I'll bet it wasn't a boa.

  5. lol i loved college and was a mom of two babies wore jeans t shirts and fit right in except for the lactationg part but you dont have to worry on that one :D

  6. p.s.Yes, I know you really know that already.

  7. rocks for textbooks.

    Anything goes in terms of college apparel, you know. Besides, who do you have to be cool for, anyway? You're a commuter, not a frat boy, haha. And it doesn't matter what you wear, because your classmates will adore you anyway.