Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Thank You Marc

Apparently it is the expectation of your Internet service provider that you pay your bill, which in turn encourages them to allow you to have Internet service.

What a crock.

I thought the Internet was supposed to be free.

Anyway, Corrine and I are relegated to scoffing wireless from our neighbors. We're not sure which neighbor, all we know is that if we sit in a particular spot, with the computer facing a particular way, the screen tipped to a certain degree, then we can get one bar of Marc's Wireless.

In this manner, we are capable of surfing the 'net, but it's a tenuous arrangement at best. At any given moment the connection can be lost. A rain storm, a truck passing by, Marc walking in front of his wireless router.

So this is why I have not blogged. A. Because I didn't pay the bill; B. Because in a Free Market economy, it's more about Market than Free; C. Obama's push toward a complete Socialist state continues to be derailed by the GOP; D. Marc's Wireless is not very dependable but I have no one to complain to because I don't know who the fuck Marc is.

It has proven what I already knew: nothing in life is free, but you can't fault me for trying to work the angles.

Which reminds me. When I was in college the first time my roommate and I opted to split the cost of cable. We got sent one of those little boxes dropped off by the cable folks and told to just screw it in and we were good to go. It was a college and therefore no set up was necessary.

Anyway. We quickly found out we had all the movie channels, including the naughty ones. My roommate was gay and therefore did not give two shits about the porn. The movie channels he loved, however, and for an entire semester we feasted on free Premium Cable.

Did I mention this was a "Christian" university in Texas?

My point is, FREE PORN. Woo hoo!

That was before the Internet, by the way. Now, if you're paying for boobies online you're an idiot.

But I digress.

Eventually we will reconcile with the ISP and pay the damn bill. I can't stand this. I need Internet in my office again, where I can have some privacy. You know, for research on my novel.


  1. I had just peeked over here yesterday and almost left a comment on your last entry to find out where you were. Glad all is well- aside from that bill paying situation!

  2. You've been missed. FREE PORN are two words that make John happy. Yep, FREE PORN. Or FREE BEER. Or FREE GOLF. Crap, FREE anything pretty much makes John a happy boy!


  3. You need to make a neighborly visit to every one in close proximity, figure out who Marc is and see if he will move his router to the side of his house closest to you. That might help.

  4. OMG-You are SO funny. I don't know who the fuck Mark is, either, but I appreciate him :)

  5. you can hook up to my wireless... but you will have to move to the hotter side of hell to do so :O i hope it all gets straight i miss you :)

  6. LMAO... I love that you got free porn at the Christian University. LOVE IT!