Dr. Fragenstein Lives Here

Friday Fragments come to you every, you know, Friday, and is an idea started by Mrs. 4444 at Half Past Kissin' Time. It's a compendium of thoughts, observations, quirky opinions, things seen and heard, smelled, tasted, sat on or stepped in.

- Woo hoo! I'm an award winner! Mrs. 4444 awarded me THE prestigious FRIDAY FAVORITE FRAGMENTER award for last week's entry, specifically the one about masturbation, thus proving my father right - once again - that I CAN accomplish anything when I use my head.

- Unintended Humor Award: Last night, at play rehearsal (I'm directing a comedy for our local community theatre called "Never Too Late"), one of the actors had to use a neck tie around his waist to secure his pajamas. He's the Mayor and shows up in the middle of the night. The tie was tied in such a way that the fat end of it drooped down over the knot right at his waist. And it looked phallic. I couldn't stop giggling. I'm such a fourth grader.

- Maine - The Way Life Should Be, My Ass: My parents have their 50th tomorrow. Outside, on the coast. It's been raining all week. In fact, it's pouring right now as I write this. The weather report says it'll clear up and be in the 70s, partly cloudy. Here's keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

- My Marty McFly Moment: I would set the DeLorean's clock for June of 1991 and drive to Oxford Hills High School's graduation. I would hand Corrine, while she's marching to Pomp and Circumstance, a letter that said "In about 15 years you're going to make me the happiest I've ever been. See you then."

- Inappropriate Song to Sing to On the Radio Award: Every so often Billy Joel's "Just The Way You Are" comes on the radio. It was the song to my wedding. My FIRST wedding. To my FIRST wife. The one I'm NOT married to. Anymore. My NEW wife, Corrine, is not a fan of it so much. Sorry honey. Old habit. You know you're the only one for me. And that I'm not reliving anything, it's just that he's my range. And I have a plate in my head.

- My Theme Song This Week: Paperback Writer by the Beatles. I'm back to writing fiction every day and it's a great feeling. It's my Prozac.

- Movie Quote of the Week: From Broadcast News. Aaron Altman, played by Albert Brooks, is a television news reporter who carries a torch for news producer Jane Craig, played by Holly Hunter. He's trying to talk her out of falling for pretty-boy, airhead news anchor Tom Granick, played by William Hurt.

And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lead.

- One Thing About Me You Don't Know: I once seriously considered becoming a youth minister.