Friday, June 5, 2009


Friday Fragments?
- I received my course preference form from the University of Maine this week. It reads like a 1040 Federal Tax Form, complete with muddled directions; a heart-felt Greetings From Farmington form letter with NINE reminders that I need to have the form to them by June 26; and the assorted assembly of paperwork, each in contradiction to the other, and therefore underscoring the imperative that I get a degree so that I can understand long forms.

- Play rehearsal for Never Too Late entered the full-run-through stage this week. This is where we run through the entire show three times a week on the lead-up to the dress rehearsal which is June 16. Out of books and on their own, the actors are now responsible for their own lines, NO PROMPTS. Two weeks from last night, we're live, ladies and gentlemen. Muahahahahahahaha.

- Griffin, who turns one at the end of the month, waves, growls, says "kitty" and puts up both hands and shrugs when you say "Where's ______?" He's flirty and handsome and a comic. To the ladies of the class of 2026, watch out!

- I woke up with some sort of rash on the palms of my hands. But no hair, so masturbating is still a safe bet. If I were to ever resort to masturbating, I mean. Does it bother you that I keep saying masturbate? They say that 98 percent of all men do it, and like, 10 percent of all women blush when you talk openly about it. But, you can make statistics say anything. And besides, who can trust a survey conducted by Vaseline? Am I rubbing you the wrong way? Is this subject matter hard to take? Oh, get a grip.

- My oldest daughter, Fallon, had a job interview Wednesday. She's 17. This is her first foray into the workforce. Did you hear that? It was seven new strands of gray hairs sprouting upon my head.

- At some point I'm going to have to see a dentist. I lost a part of a filling, and my tongue cannot leave it alone. Always excavating and investigating, it has turned the tiny hole into a full-blown cave. And now the nerve is starting to throb. Should I wait until it's infected? Should I put it off until the decay invades my jaw bone and half my face balloons up and it becomes an abscess and requires sedation?

- Corrine and I are trying to adopt, something I have not blogged about here. Her blog Buckfield's Mad Momma has been chronicling our adventures in DHHS Land. You should check it out.


  1. I, of course, don't know anything about masturbating. But I'm pretty sure a rash on the palms of your hands is bad. I'm going to go check with my wiccan friends to see if it's a curse or a sign or something. It might be a sign from the theater gods...

  2. Thanks for stopping by the old blog today! Had to laugh out loud about the masturbating thing; get a grip, indeed. Much more I could say about THAT but since we don't know each other well yet, I won't. : )

  3. Masturbating and a rash can't be a good mix. You did make me laugh! Good luck to Fallon. Just read someone else's post about the pitfalls of teens working and how it disrupts family life. And nobody does paperwork better than academia. Enjoy muddling through it all.

  4. Oh my god, that made me laugh. It makes me think of the ONE time I went to a Nascar race and someone offered me a taste of moonshine. My citified girlfriend who was with me screeched: Don't drink that! It will make you blind!
    And I calmly turned to her and said: masturbation makes you blind NOT moonshine.

    you think she would have known that since she was a Catholic.

  5. Masturbation does not make me blush.

    Goodluck on your adoption journey. It is such a wild ride.

  6. Wow - from 1 - 17? You must have some very busy days!
    Good luck with the adoption!

  7. Masturbation. How do you have time for it with little ones AND teenagers? I mean, one group alone is challenging. Both is like asking for a palm rash. From something else, I mean. But what? Do I want to know?

  8. I am wondering why the most comments posted are on the subject of masterbation...hmmmmm.

    And for the record, Andy has no need for masterbation. : )

    Clearly the rash is from lack of going to the dump...or itchy writers palm.

  9. Okay, so I'm only 1/3 of the way through this week's Fragments, but so far, your masturbation fragment is my ABSOLUTE fave. You are hilarious, and once again, at the risk of sounding like a stalker, I must tell you that I am very happy to have "met" you; I so appreciate your talent :)

    Break a leg! Go to the dentist! Good luck to your daughter (isn't it crazy to think that you have a kid that old?!)

    Off to visit your wife's blog :)

  10. This reminds me of the Random Tuesday posts. Have you seen them?

  11. The dentist is the very last place I EVER want to go! hope your visit is easy. Then again, with a 1 year old and a 17 year old the dentist might be a nice change of pace :-) You are one busy guy! Thanks for stopping by my blog. It's nice to meet you. I'll stop back again soon. now I'm off to read Corrine's blog. Thanks for the tip!